Missing $5

(Crock)

Murph stopped over last night. He came to show me this porn he bought last week --- or so I thought.

While I was distracted by the onslaught of boobs and other such bodyparts, he must have lifted my wallet and stole the last $5 I had to my name.

This morning when I went to work, I checked my wallet and instead of finding money for the coffee I just purchased, I found a note that said: "Got yer $5. Deal with it."

The note wasn't signed or anything, so I can only assume it was Murphy. It was, after all, written in his handwriting.

I guess this means he's gonna renew the hosting for our iTunes service. If not, at least it was an interesting story.

Yeah well, look

(MURPHY MURPHSON OF THE MURPH CLAN)

Well, here's the deal. You may have heard my latest rant about the government in the latest Crock & Murph. Well, I now feel entirely justified.

What I'm about to relate to you,dear listeners, is how the government directly affects YOU, the consumer and consummate ninny that listens to our shows though iTunes. Let me paint the sickening scene:

-Papa logs onto the state revenue service to file his state taxes (GRUMBLE)
-Papa gets distracted by the I Love New York marathon on Vh1 (BEST show on TV, bar none. IT's so good I'm using it to replace my daily news. Sure, there may be a biblical flood coming, but I get all the info I need when Sister Patterson gets all up in Chance's business!)
-papa fills in all the blanks, even the ones that don't apply to him (i.e. earned income)
-Papa fins out he owes the state $12
-Papa hurls half-full highball glass in rage.
-Papa realizes he just threw half a jack n coke on the linoleum floor and begins lapping it up. The dog is not amused.
-Papa curses the government

So there it is., Blame the government for me not being able to renew our LIbsyn account right away. Now, I know what you're saying "Murphy it's only $12 suck it up!" well, NO! You see, my budget for this week included three things: Booze, food, and libsyn. And now that the government has taken that away from me, I'm stuck with only booze and food while you hve to suffer. Now, I know, you wanna know why I can't just NOT drink for a week. Well my "friends" if I answered that honestly you would be so mortified you would turn to stone. And then I'd have a stoned reader. You got any more? Don't hold out on me!

iTunes Delay

(Crock)

We forgot to re-up with our host for the Crock & Murph podcast. That means there will be a slight delay in the availability of our latest show on iTunes. NO worries as you can still grab it on SUYM as a free download.

Here's what happened. Murphy pays for our hosting service with a credit card in somebody else's name. He has this bill set up to automatically email him whenever we need to pay Libsyn (our host). Trouble is, he'd gladly have a gay commitment ceremony in the Magic Kingdom before he's bothered with checking his email. In fact, the only thing he does regularly is wake up. And you know we all have to be a little bit thankful for that.

Long story short, Murph wouldn't let me check his email so he gave the password to somebody he "trusts". This "trustee" checked the mail and is supposed to front us the cash so we can re-up with our gracious host. We'll see how long this takes...

Workin' for the Weekend

(Crock)

So yeah, we couldn't do a show during the week due to my sickness. Cry me a river. We ended up going back to our roots to churn out the latest show; we did the show on a Saturday evening. It warmed my soul to do a show on a Saturday. Weekend shows always allowed me to take the afternoon to relax and develop some premium material in my mind-mellon. Once the show gets run through the editor (hah!), you'll be damn pleased with the turnout.

We're off next week, so don't be alarmed if you don't see a show come March 18th. As of our winter meetings, we decided to take every 4th week to rest. Our thinking behind this is that since God took seven days and rested on the eighth day we should double or triple up on him and go every TWENTY eighth day. Yeah, we're not quite God, but I consider myself the studio God, so take that however it pleases you best.

I'll please you the best.

"SIck My Ass" or "The Real Reason Crock Wasn't Around"

(MURPHY)

So by now I'm sure you've all seen Crock's post apologizing profusely for his being absent due to "the flu." Well, I, dear readers/listeners/whatevers, have the real scoop. And what I'm about to reveal may SHOCK you. It may even OFFEND you. It may hit you so hard that you lose all bowel control.

Here it is.

Crock wasn't sick.

He's just a PUSSY.

That's right, he's a cake-eater through and through. Crock had the sniffles. The fucking sniffles. This isn't the middle ages, where sniffles meant certain death. Yet, ol medieval thinking Crock was ready to put leeches all over his fuckin gangly ass chicekn-frame.

Hey Crock, here's an idea straight from the Mouth of Murph (now THERE's a name for a radio show): MAN UP! This is exactly why I can't take you to the strip club or take you hunting or count on you in a fight. Anyway, now that your Hypochondriacish self is "better" I'm gonna have to be doubly hard on you in the next show. It's not that I want to, it's just.....well yeah, I want to.

Murphy out.

Very Ill.

(Crock)

The show for this Wednesday was canceled due to my inability to shake the flu. I haven't been this sick in a long, long time (since high school, at least) but it appears that I'm on the rebound. After a good day today, a day which saw me actually sleep for a change, I think I'll be ready to re-visit Crock & Murph at some point over the weekend.

I think that I'll be at least 90% by tomorrow afternoon.