Hmph

MURPHY

Hello citizens! It is I, beloved and adored MURPHY. Here with another missive for your diatribed asses!

I'd have to say that certain things have been cracking the veneer of yours truly. Motorists, grandmothers, overtipping...you name it. What's the deal? Does the murph-man just need to get laid? Well, the answer to that is always a resounding yes so forget that question. Maybe it's the fact that my pal and your favorite, Crock has really come into his own as a studio host.

I mean, I harken back to the days when I would carry the show with my wit and numerous voices and hilarity. Then when we resurrected the show crock came to me with a RADICAL idea...he wanted his own segment?! What?!

Immediately my heart was crushed and my fangs came out. How dare he demand his own segment? He's supposed to be like those monkeys they train to go into space...pure button pushers, no more no less. Hell, if my religion allowed me to use computers I could probably pull this show off on my own. But anyway, ever since he got his segment (The beloved (blah!) "Crock's Bullshit Minute") he's been spreading his wings and testing his mettle. I think I might have to knock him down a peg (and by Peg I mean this fat girl I'm gonna pay to get him drunk and take home)

Now that I think about it, it's interesting how before Crock's Bullshit Minute, it was Crock's Bullshit Life. I guess we're all making progress